Barbara Ione might possibly have been named Barbara after our Mother’s sister, Barbara Alice Lines, or for our Great Grandmother Barbara Alice Boyer Siegfried. She was definitely named Ione after our Mother’s childhood best friend, Ione, who lived on Miltimore Street in Reading, Pennsylvania during the early 1920’s.
Barbara Lilley 2 years old
Barbara was born on October 9, 1932. She was the first child of William Arthur Lilley and Anna May Lines Lilley. I obviously do not know first- hand about her childhood as I was not around then so the things I am about to relay are hearsay, heard from Mama and Barbara, occasionally Daddy and our sister Virginia, too.
I know, through hearsay, that our parents were separated for a bit when she was small and she and Mama lived with Hattie and Elmer Lines, Mama’s parents. I know our grandfather Elmer died in 1936 and had been ill for quite some time. Barbara would have been four at his passing and was the only one of us Lilley children who ever knew him. She told me that he was a bit scary, but that could have been from the perspective of a very young child. I am sure we are all aware by now that illness and pain does have a tendency to make people cranky. She did tell me that she could be a tad bit rebellious at times. Our grandparents lived by the railroad tracks of the Reading Railroad. The tracks were down below the house. She was not supposed to go anywhere near them, but she did ride her tricycle by the tracks and, could you believe it, it upset our grandfather. I am sure he made his displeasure known. That might have also been one of the reasons she found him scary. She must have been very young when it occurred, but when she told me it became part of her ‘legend’ to me.
She loved our grandmother, Hattie. I vaguely remember Hattie because I think we lived with her before we moved to Oley in 1950, after Lynne was born. It might have been we lived with Grandma Lines because she was ill and Mama was taking care of her, although I don’t know that for sure. Those times are very hazy to me but Barbara would tell me things about those years. I always thought I threw a child’s rocking chair out of Grandmas’ window but in later years Barbara told me she had thrown the chair out the window because she and Grandma were arguing.
Up the street or across the street (I don’t remember) lived the Marchiones. Her first love was Ronnie Marchione, and you can see why. I remember him as being cute (I was 4 or 5, but I still thought he was cute). She spoke about him sometimes with annoyance, sometimes anger and sometimes with delight. She must have known him off and on in her childhood when she and Mama lived with Grandma Lines on Miltimore Street. They had a strong relationship in high school and were even discussing marriage, but then Ronnie joined the Army or re-upped or something that made Barbara unhappy and they ended their relationship or at least plans for marriage.
Barbara was an incredibly friendly person and had a lot of friendships with people on Miltimore Street which lasted into her adulthood. I remember Mabel and Tru, friends of Grandmas. I also remember Alice and Peewee, friends who eventually married, and then divorced, but Barbara remained friends with both of them. There was Barbara’s friend Dawn, so close a friend that Wilma’s middle name is Dawn. And Ronnie, who was in and out of her life even until his death.
There is the famous family legend of Miss Annie and Barbara. This is the way it was told to me by Barbara and Mama; on a bus trip to downtown (the town being Reading) Barbara, a very friendly and loquacious child, began a conversation with an elderly woman sitting close by. The old woman was so enthralled with this little girl that she and Mama began talking and became friends. Miss Annie, who had no children, doted on Barbara, and at her death bequeathed Barbara a very beautiful drop-down desk. Even the telling was so long ago I am not sure I have remembered it correctly.
For the length of time Mama and Daddy were separated Barbara was the center of attention from her mother, her Lines grandparents and her dad when he came to visit. She was the first grandchild to be born in the Lines family. She was not much older than her Aunt Betty and Uncle Walter, who both adored her. She was the Maid-of-Honor at her Aunt Betty’s wedding.
When “Daddy Bill” came to see her when he and Mama were separated, she and Daddy Bill would go to visit his parents, where again she was the darling child. Grandma Lilley had a tendency to dote on her boys, and since Barbara was a child of her son, she garnered loving attention from that grandmother, too.
I remember a story about Papa (our Dad’s father) and Barbara during her teen years when Papa owned a gas station on Lancaster Avenue. A boy came to see her at Papa’s gas station and attempted to take her for a ride on his motorcycle. Papa, who was not the tallest man in the world, or the heftiest physically, lifted her off the back of the motorcycle and told the boy to ‘scram’, probably not in those terms.
For a considerable time (eight years, approximately) Barbara was the only child. When Mama and Daddy reunited (though I am not really sure of the time span, I think it was about four years) they moved around quite a bit. I think they moved to Atlantic City because I have this wonderful picture of Daddy and Barbara when they lived there when Barbara was about 6.
Daddy Bill (William Arthur Lilley, Sr.) and Barbara Atlantic City,
N J ca. 1936 or 1937. Daddy Bill is what Barbara called Daddy during her parent's separation she told me.
Although I was not there when this occurred it is also a legend, in my mind at least; it was her Senior prom and she and Ronnie went to the prom and after went to the “Dog House” or some other 50’s teen hangout, diner type place. She always bemoaned her lack of ‘bosomyness’ but despite that she wore a strapless gown to the prom. Sitting either at the counter, or hopefully in a booth, with Ronnie and another couple, her strapless gown slipped below the accepted modesty level. I imagine that she was embarrassed, but as far as I know she just righted her gown and went on with her enjoyment of the evening.
Barbara, Wilma, Lynne and Ann Reading 1951
I remember when Barbara was pregnant with Sharon and Mama was pregnant with Bill. Barbara won the baby race by having Sharon in October and Mama tagged along with Bill the following April. It was amazing for a little while to have two small babies around, and such a thrill to be an aunt at 9 years old. Then Barbara, Ed and Sharon moved to Texas. It was only for a short time, but it seemed like a long time to me. I remember when Barbara came home the first thing she said was “how is you all?”, which I found hilarious. Sharon, Barbara and Bill, Jr. Oley, Pa. 1955 |
Barbara’s greatest joy, I think, was feeling needed; by her parents, by her children, her grandchildren, her great grandchildren, her siblings, her nieces and nephews; by her co-workers, by friends, by neighbors, maybe even strangers. She was so kind, so loving, so loyal.
Barbara pulled herself up from the depths of despair after a divorce that would have crushed many people. She reinvented herself into a career woman who won awards for her business acumen; she took the Reading Bar Association to great heights and made it into a beacon for other Bar Associations to emulate.
Ann and Barbara, Reading, Pa 2012
The last two years were really hard for everyone. Because of her dementia, whether age or erroneous medicine induced, she was very distant and appeared sometimes so frightened of anything and everything it was like she was a different person. I loved her so much and it was such a sorrow to see her be so changed. I very much prefer thinking of my sister as the brave, strong-hearted, valiant, completely loving and loyal woman that I knew before the cruel and devastating disease took over her life force.
You cannot, or at least I cannot, explain or completely tell the life of a person in a short reminiscence. The 88 years of her life would take more than even 88 pages of writing. But if you knew Barbara Ione Lilley Kittrell then you knew the kind of person she was and the joy that she brought into the lives of the people who loved her.
Rest in Peace. I love you.
www.legacy.com/obituaries/readingeagle/obituary.aspx?n=barbara-kittrell&pid=197188372&fhid=30029
https://www.tributearchive.com/obituaries/19119377/Barbara-I-Kittrell/Laureldale/Pennsylvania/Stitzel-Funeral-Homes-and-Crematory-Inc
www.readingeagle.com/living/berks-county-bar-association-directors-legacy-lives-on-as-a-leader-and-friend-for-many/article_f1ede33a-3afd-11eb-8850-734d33fdd1c4.html